Apr 8, 2025 • Adrian T
Go to a Corner - Why Parents Use It and What to Know Before You Do
As parents, we all face moments when our kids push limits: grabbing toys, yelling during dinner, refusing to follow directions. In those moments, many of us reach for tools to help guide behavior, and one of the most common strategies is the “go to a corner” approach, also known as a time-out.
But where did this idea come from? Is it really helpful? And when should we use it or not?
Let’s break it down.
Where Did “Go to a Corner” Come From?
The idea of time-out was first introduced in the 1960s by psychologists who were studying ways to reduce negative behaviors in young children—without yelling, spanking, or using harsh punishment. The goal? Give kids a quiet space away from the action so they can calm down and reflect.
Over time, this turned into what many of us grew up with: being told to sit quietly in a corner or on a "naughty chair" for a few minutes after misbehaving. It became popular because it seemed to work, it stopped the behavior, didn’t involve shouting or spanking, and gave everyone a break.
Why Is “Go to a Corner” Useful?
Used with care, time-outs can help kids learn:
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Self-regulation: They get a chance to cool off and settle their emotions.
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Consequences: It shows that certain behaviors lead to a pause in fun or attention.
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Boundaries: Kids start to understand what’s okay and what’s not.
It’s not meant to punish. It’s meant to press “pause.”
For example, if your child hits their sibling during play, a few minutes in a quiet space gives them time to calm down, and gives you a moment to reset too. It can be part of teaching empathy, problem-solving, and emotional control.
When to Use It
Think of “go to a corner” as a teaching moment, not a punishment.
✅ Use it when:
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Your child is out of control and needs a safe space to calm down.
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A rule has been clearly broken (like hitting or throwing toys).
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You’ve already reminded or redirected, and it didn’t work.
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You need a moment to breathe and stay calm, too.
Set clear rules: “We don’t hit. If you hit, you’ll need to take a break.”
Keep it short—1 minute per year of age is a good guide (so 3 minutes for a 3-year-old). And always check back in after, talk about what happened, and offer a chance to do better next time.
When Not to Use It
❌ Avoid it when:
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Your child is overwhelmed, scared, or melting down from big feelings. That’s a time for comfort, not discipline.
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You haven’t taught them what to do instead. Kids need clear direction, not just consequences.
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It’s being used too often. If you’re sending them to the corner 10 times a day, the real problem might be something deeper—like stress, unmet needs, or a missing routine.
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Your child is younger than 2. At that age, they don’t fully understand cause and effect, and redirection or distraction is usually better.
A Better Way to Think About It
Some parents now use the term “calm-down corner” instead of time-out. It shifts the tone from punishment to peace. You can even create a cozy spot with a few books, soft pillows, or calming toys. Instead of sending your child there, you can invite them: “Looks like you’re having a hard time. Do you want to take a break and come back when you’re ready?”
This helps build emotional intelligence—something that will serve your child for a lifetime.
Final Thoughts
“Go to a corner” isn’t a magic fix—but when used with love, consistency, and intention, it can be a helpful part of your parenting toolbox. The key is not the corner itself—it’s how we guide, support, and reconnect with our kids afterward.
Because discipline isn’t about control. It’s about teaching. And every tough moment is a chance to grow together.
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